I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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