What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
