I love black thongs
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
