And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
