His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
