ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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