I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
