They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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