he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
