that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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