I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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