But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
