he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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