i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
