oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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