My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
