he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
