why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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