I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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