D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
