I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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