i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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