I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
