Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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