I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
