its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
