But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
