He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
