It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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