For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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