We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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