Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize