I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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