I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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