is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
