i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize