Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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