What a fucking waste of an outfit
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
