just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
