No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
