I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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