i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize