At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
