a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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