Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Someone signed my nipple.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
