We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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