You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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