So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
