how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am one with the molecules
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
