this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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