my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
