its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
