I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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