i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize