I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
