Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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