I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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