If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
