I accidentally burped into my bong.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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