Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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